So you have guided your creature from a single cell organism all the way out of the primordial sludge, through the tribal phase, past planet-bound civilization and into space. Now what do you do? Well here are five ways to proceed as a space-faring race.
1. "We come in peace, haha! Fooled you!" You can wave the white flag of friendliness when you arrive on that first inhabited world that you encounter and make friends with the natives. When you have gained their trust you can then pull out the disintegrator beams and start laying into them. Total annihilation is the goal. Think of it like a game in a game. Gotta catch 'em all? Assign points for each alien 'sucker' that you get but be careful, sooner or later they'll probably start shooting back.
2. "No really, we DO come in peace." I suppose you could actually be a peaceful explorer. Guide your science and peace officers from planet to planet and make friends with the locals. Exchange scientific information and even co-mingle with them through sexy time. Heck you might even get some evolutionary benefits from it in the long run. You can finally breed out those red bodies you have that seem to get killed en masse in alien encounters.
3. "Gee, you're cute. I think I'll keep you" Alien abduction has long been the topic of discussion among the less mentally stable. Now I'm not saying aliens don't exist and couldn't abduct people, but anal probes? I don't think so. Now you can live out those fantasies, except for the anal probes probably, and go into super collector mode. Find a planet with some new species? Why not grab one and start your own alien zoo? Charge admission and show your young the wonders of the universe. So what if the 'animals' you collect are intelligent beings that are self-aware and might even be as smart as you. You got them before they got you right?
4. "That's neat, hey honey take a photo of this." I suppose you could take a hands-off approach to it all and merely just explore without ever alerting the other planets to your presence. Like galactic tourists you could flit from planet to planet merely observing and taking snapshots so when you're a grandparent you can say "…and this was our honeymoon trip to planet Alpha Epsilon seven, see all the little creatures scurrying around on the surface of the planet? They didn't even know we were there..."
5. "Might Makes Right." Forget the sightseeing, the crafty ploys, the scientific exchange and the peaceful approach. Fly in low, guns blazing and mow down those damn dirty aliens until they submit to your will. Enslave the population and they will make clothes for you in your sweatshops, clean your hotels and houses, do your gardening and plant your crops. All you need to do is sit back, prop your feet up and keep that blaster rifle leveled at their heads. Maybe you should even take a shot over their heads to keep them bent to the work at hand instead of plotting how they're going to kill you in your sleep.
So you see, there are many reasons to take your “sporeling” into the stars. But remember, someone else might read this and come gunning for you. After all, why conquer one alien species when you might be able to get two at the same time. Warp drive activate, I’m off to the recreation planet with three suns, three-breasted alien women and a whole lot of fruity drinks!
