Dear Creator, Things have been happening with my body that have me a little concerned. I realize I am your complete creation but...
I understand you control my evolution to the tiniest detail. There have been conversations overheard from neighboring tribes that there may be hundreds, thousands, or even millions of different creators in this galaxy. I am hoping that my creator has an understanding heart and can grant me just a few minor wishes.
DON’T MAKE ME PINK!! I have been aware that my color has been changing quite often. Personally, the greenish brown is my favorite, but please, don’t make me pink. Do you have any idea how hard it is to gain respect, when warring with another tribe, when you are pink? Let’s just say… it’s not intimidating. Not intimidating at all.
COULD YOU MAKE MY LEGS LONGER? Really? Short little legs? I mean, I know I have four of them, but it is really hard to gain any serious speed with these things. You see, there happens to be a tribe of these really monstrous looking things moving into our territory and I would much rather run from them than battle them. I would even be willing to trade in one of my pair of short stubby legs for something longer that would allow me to run.
MY ROAR NEEDS SOME WORK. Not to sound ungrateful, but have you heard it? Not very awe inspiring is it? I know the roar has a lot to do with my over all design, but if you were to work on that a little bit, I think it would really help out my self esteem. You know, I am pretty sure I would be able to avoid some confrontation if I didn’t sound like a wounded hamster trying to sing a lullaby!
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE MORE "SEXY TIME"? I know what you are thinking, and it’s not that. This is not a selfish request. I am merely thinking of advancing the number of my species. Just think of what we could accomplish if there were more of us! My village could grow to a large city. We could produce more vehicles. You know what they say, “Strength in numbers.”
MY MOUTH MAY NEED SOME RETHINKING. Don’t get me wrong. I am very happy that you gave me a mouth. It helps me to eat. The mouth was a genius move and I am very thankful to you for it. I have noticed some of the other creatures have them located in places that seem to make more sense, though. Again, this may just be a trivial little thing to you, but I can’t help but think there is someplace on my body better suited for the wonderful mouth you have given me. I mean come on, my armpit?!
Well, I guess that’s all I have for now. I am going to spend more time on the tools you gave me to work with. I feel I am getting the hang of them and could really use some new structures here. So anyway, just think about my requests. I just hope I haven’t made you mad, as I must have before the last time you “modified” my body. You know, when you decided it would be a good idea to have an arm growing out of my butt?
In deep respect,
Your humble Spore creature
